Word reached me yesterday that Secnarf, last remaining member of the Rhinoceros Party of Canada, has declared her candidacy for Prime Minister in the October Federal election. I managed to reach her last night.
Francie: Secnarf! How's that thing with the electronic ankle bracelet going?
Secnarf: A complete misunderstanding. I have never stalked Justin Trudeau.
Francie: He found you in his bedroom closet.
Secnarf: Lies. All lies.
Francie: You were singing, 'Oh Canada' in French.
Secnarf: Absolute fuddle duddle!
Francie: Well okay then, Secnarf, let's talk about your policies.
Secnarf: As usual I'm campaigning on the 'two votes for every woman' platform.
My campaign manager Isabella King and I believe it is the only way to bring peace and stability to the country.
Francie: Isabella King is your campaign manager?
Hasn't Mckenzie King's mother been dead since 1917?
Secnarf: Hey! She got us through World War II!
And when I'm elected Prime Minister I plan to put her in charge oh the cabinet.
Francie: So Canada's cabinet meetings will be seances?
Secnarf: Great Idea, eh? They'll be way more fun than the ones they have now.
Anyway I have to go. Pat and I are meeting to discuss the environment.
Francie: Please don't tell me you mean 'Pat' Mckenzie King's dog...
Secnarf: Gotta run! Bye! And don't forget:
A VOTE FOR SECNARF IS A VOTE FOR THE ONLY POLITICIAN WHO LOOKS LIKE A CABINET MINISTER THAT NOBODY REMEMBERS ANYMORE EXCEPT THAT SHE DRANK EXPENSIVE ORANGE JUICE
AND CHARGED THE TAXPAYER.
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