|English: Laura Secord warning Lieutenant James Fitzgibbon of an impending American attack, June 1813. Français : Rencontre entre Laura Secord et le lieutenant Fitzgibbon, juin 1813 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
Part 2 - The Present
June 22 will be the 199th anniversary of Laura Secord's walk.
The big celebration is next year.
By 'big' celebration I mean big in an understated Canadian kind of way, i.e., there will be a commemorative walk.
But nobody can figure out how we are going to cross Twelve Mile Creek.
That's when I knew I had to find Secnarf.
Francie: Thanks for seeing me, Secnarf. I know you don't usually dabble in municipal politics but we've got a serious problem.
Secnarf: The Rhinoceros Party is interested in serious problems at the local level.
Francie: Well good, because I'm afraid to say the move is afoot to build a bridge over the Twelve Mile Creek so the hikers commemorating Laura Secord's walk can cross safely.
Secnarf: Ridiculous! Laura Secord shinnied across the creek on a fallen log.
In the dark.
And she had her period!
Francie: Laura Secord had her period?
Secnarf: It's Secnarf's Law. Anytime a woman has to go somewhere where it would be totally inconvenient she gets her period.
Francie: Holy cow!
Secnarf: Yes, cow is the key word when we speak of Laura Secord. The people of Niagara don't need a permanent bridge.
Too expensive. If you elect me
the only politician who looks
like a cabinet minister,
The Rhinoceros Party of Canada promises to bring a herd of cows down to the creek and you ladies can swim across on their backs.
Totally Laura Secord.
And we'll throw in a box of those Laura Secord Chocolate Miniatures to anybody who makes it across alive.
Francie: Wow! Thanks, Secnarf!
Secnarf: No problem: Don't forget -
the last remaining member
of the Rhinoceros Party of Canada
and the only politician who looks
like a cabinet minister.
Francie: When are you going to update your picture?
Secnarf: When Bev Oda quits smoking. Now get lost, will ya. I gotta rent some cows.