A Back to School Story

Image by Thorne Enterprises via Flickr

I managed to weasel out of teaching music for twenty-five or so years. Eventually the day came when try as I might, I just couldn't figure out how to get someone else to teach it for me.

I did what any teacher caught in a similar situation would do.

I ordered a class set of recorders.

"How hard could it be?" I thought. "You blow in one end and music comes out the other."

When the recorders arrived I pestered the kindergarten teacher until she took pity on me and taught me how to play 'Hot Cross Buns'.

Realizing that I was born to rock I spent the next few day playing my song for anyone who crossed my path.

Eventually I passed the recorders out to my grade fours. I explained that we wouldn't be making beautiful music until we learned about the instrument. I pointed out that the round holes were given letter names; the top one was B, the second A, the third G and so on. I showed them how to cover the openings with their fingers.

I said, "Now we'll have a little test. I'll call out the letters and you use your fingers properly. Is everyone ready?"

Enthusiastically they all nodded.














At this point I have to tell you that for years after this happened I got down on my knees every night and thanked the Good Lord that I wasn't teaching grade eight that day.















How was I supposed to know that in the music world they are called apertures?














I told thirty ten year old kids to put their fingers on their A holes.