Tuesday, May 14, 2013

What a Nightmare!

Dentist on the Job
Dentist on the Job (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Two big horror shows on TV this week.

Skipping quickly over the nightmare game
between the Leafs and the Bruins yesterday,

Sunday's final episode of "Survivor"
was right up there with the "Exorcist" in

my opinion.

Holy ker-schmoley, when Dawn took her
teeth out I thought I wouldn't sleep for a


But it did get me thinking about my own


When I was a kid my dentist's name
was Doctor Coffin and he lived in a

haunted house. 

 He used to keep my whole family
spell bound with stories about how

he and his wife found their good
silverware spread out neatly across

their attic floor every morning.

I have no idea why he went to his attic
every morning or even why we all piled

in the car and visited him.

We didn't have good silverware nor
even an attic where any self-respecting

ghost would want to hang out.

He must have been a better conversationalist
than he was dentist.

And no friends in his own social class.




My next dentist was "Painless Pearson".
I liked him because he really was painless!

Incompetent, but painless.

"Oops!" he said one day during a root canal.

He rattled around in my mouth a bit longer.

My blood pressure went up when I saw
his assistant's eyes widened in alarm.

"But look - I've patched it up!" he said
waving a hand mirror in front of my face.

"Fanks,"  I said all drooley as I studied

the hollow tooth standing bare naked in

the middle of the rubber dam in my

"Di int hurd a bid."




It hurt my wallet.

And I didn't get any free mint flavoured
waxed dental floss either!

What a nightmare!

Maybe I should have written about the Leafs after all ...

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