Yesterday morning I was late for my aerobics class.
I leapt out of bed, wolfed my flax and fibre, fed the patriarch and put the spy car into warp speed. At the gym, which is above the Superstore, I screeched to a stop, jumped out, thundered across the tarmac and entered the building at full throttle.
My mind registered that a young woman was ahead of me, gawking at the early Hallowe'en displays and blocking my way with her grocery cart.
Desperate to make up for lost time, I deked around her.
As I did so, I stepped off the entrance mat and onto the shiny, smooth floor.
Did I mention it was raining and my shoes were wet?
I went into a slow motion, mind boggling free fall, and ended up flat on my back.
A crowd gathered. A crowd of concerned citizens full of sympathy I didn't deserve.
And because I know you are wondering, let me assure you of one thing:
There is absolutely no dignified way for a rain soaked sixty year old lady in spandex shorts to crawl out from under a pile of Wonder Bread.
Time to slow down and smell the autumn flowers.
|Wes Crow's Market, 381 Canboro Road, Ridgeville|
And enjoy the gathering of the pumpkins.
And hide out from the 300 billion or so people who witnessed my total humiliation.