What Are Friends For?

Narcissus (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I was raised to be polite to people and to ask them questions about themselves when conversing.

And that works okay, as long as the other person plays by the same rules.

The danger is that a narcissist simply talks about him or herself and at the end of the interaction the polite person is sucked dry of any feelings of self worth.  

 

Sometimes a 'friendship' with a narcissist can develop if there is enough entertainment value in the relationship, you have shared experiences and/or there are open doors that that would otherwise be closed to the polite person.

 

(I didn't say polite people are smart or even overly moral people.)

 

Anyway, I've had a lifelong 'friendship' with a narcissist.

 

Or I did.

 

After dropping contact with me during a very bleak period in my life a few years ago she suddenly phoned yesterday.

And immediately launched into a monologue about her relationship with her husband & how it has been hell for years & that's why she hasn't been in touch but it's okay now, and her mom has Alzheimer's but she doesn't care and hey she's got this great little website going now, blah blah blah.

No apology. No how are you.

In the old days I would have spent hours listening.

Because that's what friend's do. Right?

(Remember what I said about polite people not always being smart people?)

 

Okay, okay.  I listened yesterday too.

I'm Canadian. I can't help it.

But the difference is that I could feel myself getting more and more enraged as she blathered on.

And then I had a meltdown.

I didn't say anything like I should have said, but I said enough.

And then I hung up.

 

Score one for painful personal growth.  sigh.

Your Sex Life Is Not My Business

Image via Wikipedia

I try to avoid thinking about the sex lives of other people.

And one would hope that Canadian society has moved past the point of judging someone by their choice of sex partner, (or partners).

But apparently not.

The B.C. Supreme Court has upheld the ban against polygamy on the grounds that it is harmful to women and children.

Pedophilia; religious brainwashing; and isolating and under educating women are things harmful to society.

The people in Bountiful, B.C., need to be held accountable.

But choosing to be a part of polygamous or polyandrous, (a woman having more than one husband), marriage shouldn't be illegal and the partners should be entitled to all of the rights and protections of people in monogamous relationships.

After all, we live in a free-ish society.

I think.

Related articles

• Judge upholds law that polygamy has no place in Canada (theprovince.com)

The Good, The Bad and the Only Too Human

I know the last thing the free world needs is another comment about Tiger Woods, but I just can't resist it.

Is he a good man? A bad man?

A good man is a protector of women and children and sometimes the sole provider in a family, particularly when the children are young. A man who is particularly successful at these things is likely financially secure, intelligent and healthy, jam packed with just the kind of genes the female of the species is hard wired to want to pass on.

Tiger Woods is a very successful man who people clearly identified as 'a good man' and because of his success and 'goodness', women were drawn to him. The problem? It seems he took advantage of several women he had no intention of providing for or protecting and somebody, I'm guessing one of the women, told his wife. Women don't take that sort of thing, if you'll pardon the terrible way I'm going to put it, lying down anymore.

But Tiger Woods didn't kill, maim or mutilate anyone. It doesn't seem that he fathered any unwanted children.

His being good or bad is moot. Few of us will ever meet him and find out. What we know for sure is that he's human and he erred. So have we all.

Go play golf, Tiger.