Friday, September 25, 2015
Secnarf Wants Your Vote
Word reached me yesterday that Secnarf, last remaining member of the Rhinoceros Party of Canada, has declared her candidacy for Prime Minister in the October Federal election. I managed to reach her last night.
Francie: Secnarf! How's that thing with the electronic ankle bracelet going?
Secnarf: A complete misunderstanding. I have never stalked Justin Trudeau.
Francie: He found you in his bedroom closet.
Secnarf: Lies. All lies.
Francie: You were singing, 'Oh Canada' in French.
Secnarf: Absolute fuddle duddle!
Francie: Well okay then, Secnarf, let's talk about your policies.
Secnarf: As usual I'm campaigning on the 'two votes for every woman' platform.
My campaign manager Isabella King and I believe it is the only way to bring peace and stability to the country.
Francie: Isabella King is your campaign manager?
Hasn't Mckenzie King's mother been dead since 1917?
Secnarf: Hey! She got us through World War II!
And when I'm elected Prime Minister I plan to put her in charge oh the cabinet.
Francie: So Canada's cabinet meetings will be seances?
Secnarf: Great Idea, eh? They'll be way more fun than the ones they have now.
Anyway I have to go. Pat and I are meeting to discuss the environment.
Francie: Please don't tell me you mean 'Pat' Mckenzie King's dog...
Secnarf: Gotta run! Bye! And don't forget:
A VOTE FOR SECNARF IS A VOTE FOR THE ONLY POLITICIAN WHO LOOKS LIKE A CABINET MINISTER THAT NOBODY REMEMBERS ANYMORE EXCEPT THAT SHE DRANK EXPENSIVE ORANGE JUICE
AND CHARGED THE TAXPAYER.