Friday, November 4, 2011

Cabled!



"I'd like to set up my account," I said to the woman who was on the other end of the line and who was employed by a cable company that I shall not name.

(As a clever disguise that no one will ever see through,  I will call it Bogeco.)

I went onto explain that I had just purchased a small townhouse and the cost of the cable TV was included in the condo fees.

"No problem," she replied pleasantly and after several minutes we were finished.

"Great," I said.

"Great," she echoed.

"And that will be $4 a month."


"$4 a month?" I was flabbergasted. "But the cost is included in my condo fees!"

"But you need a digital receiver," she said.

"Why do I need a digital receiver?" I asked.

"You need a digital receiver because mijk thell  jse2wm!"

"Well, that sounds reasonable," I said, not wanting to admit that I had no idea what she was talking about, "but are you actually going to send me a bill for $4 a month?"

"Well, you could give us a cheque in advance and we could deduct the cost every month."

"Could I buy my own digital receiver?" I asked.

"Yes. They cost $160".



I decided to think about it.



The next day, figuring that I'd be better off renting a digital receiver because technology changes so quickly,  I called Bogeco back.


Different woman, but we got  it all set up.

"Great," I said.

"Great," she echoed. "That will be $8 a month."

 "Yesterday it was $4," my voice rose, "why is it $8 today?"

"I don't know about yesterday but today the digital receiver is $4 a month and the fjas;jc box is $4. That adds up to $8 a month," she said.

"I know why I need a digital receiver," I lied, "why do I need a fjas;jc box?"

"You need a fjas;jc box because asdk sdf fjslkf  FKS ksifpo30 and because [rou,!"

"Could you explain that to me again?" I asked pitifully.


She hung up on me.


Bogeco must be pretty sure of their customers.


I counted to ten and tried again.


Customer Service Rep 3 was male. 

We went through the process again and he assured me that my TV would work on the day I moved in.

I waited.

"Is there anything else?" he asked.


"What about the cost?" I gritted my teeth.


"Oh it's free," he said.

"FREE?"

I actually thought Bogeco felt bad because one of their Customer Reps had hung up on me and wanted to make amends.


"Yes," he said enthusiastically, pleased to have been the bearer of good news.

"Free for the first year. 

After that it is $9.50 a month."



Jeesh.

I've been cabled.



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