|Queen Victoria wearing the Diamond Collet Necklace, Earrings and her large diamond bracelet. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)|
Even though I love them, I can't wear opals.
And apparently, neither could Queen Victoria.
My mother would have walked across the burning Sahara at noon before she would let me wear her opal ring.
"Opals bring bad luck unless you were born in October," she'd say.
But the ring was pretty and because it was hers it was special to me,
so after she passed away I took it to the jeweler and asked if the old superstition was true.
"Oh no!" the jeweler laughed.
"Queen Victoria started that old story.
One day she was wearing an opal brooch that came undone and exposed the royal bosom."
"How dreadful!" I said thinking of the onlookers.
Now I have to tell you that it was Movember and the jeweler was wearing a rather magnificent mustache.
Luxuriant and waxed to a fine point it was a sight to behold.
I suppose that was what made me decide to go ahead with my plan.
I mean if you can't trust a woman in a mustache, who can you trust?
I had the ring re-sized.
Six weeks later I was in an ambulance on my way to the hospital paralyzed with sciatica.
The next few months passed in a blur of excruciating nonstop pain and drugs.
Whatever they tell you, believe me when I tell you that Percocet does not come close to easing nerve pain.
The best that can be said is that I eventually discovered that if I took two Percocet and two gravol it knocked me out for a few hours.
I never wore the ring again.
I've never had sciatica before or since.
But I don't blame Queen Victoria.
I'll be out watching the fireworks this weekend with everyone else.
I blame the jeweler.
It will be years before I trust another woman in a handle bar mustache.
Have a Happy Long Victoria Day Week-end everyone!